Thoughts from a Therapist

But in our current world, cravings often work more as an alarm system, signaling that something else is awry and that we have failed to listen to more subtle signs up to now. A strong craving for chocolate is less likely a sign that we need sugar - and much more likely a sign that we hunger for emotional resolution, companionship or sleep. (Some may remember HALT: hungry, angry, lonely, tired.)

So instead of feeding the craving, starting to notice its presence is a way to feed or nurture what you, as a whole, may be lacking. And it may be surprising to find that when you approach a craving in this way, as an observer and not as a responder, that the cravings dissipate quite quickly and in that empty space that you are left with come answers that you've been asking for all along. Pretty amazing. (Thank you, Rich, for the reminder.)

2) Accept differences: Instead of right or wrong - consider both are right; just different.

3) Be okay: Be okay with just okay. It doesn't have to be perfect - because it probably won't be.

4) Accept the present: Accept what's right in front of you instead of wanting what you had or wishing for what you might have.

5) Breathe: Sounds silly but in turmoil we often hold our breath. Breathe and possibilities have the space to arise.

6) Find similarities: Instead of comparisons try finding similarities. Nothing brings us closer than feeling alike and accepted.

7) Observe:  Instead of worrying how you appear to others, try looking outward without judgment instead. As an observer, you'll notice you lose the compulsion to worry about yourself.

Deirdre Barrett, PhD and author of The Committee of Sleep, recommends what is called "dream incubation." First write down your problem and think about it before going to bed, then let your intuitive solution emerge while you sleep.

Keeping a pen and paper near the bed can be helpful if an answer comes early in the morning as they often do. You may find yourself forgetting the solution if you don't write it down.

But I've learned to accept and be grateful for love and kindness from all who give it to me now ~ in all sorts of ways and forms.

That way I'm surrounded with mighty good feelings rather than being resentful that I'm not getting love, that I'm not getting enough, or that I'm not getting it in the way I want.

Little shifts, big changes.

Peter Gabriel sang about "Jeux sans frontieres" or games without frontiers or borders.

I say, how about relationships without games.I'm not saying no fun. I'm saying more honesty and less borders that block connection.

Just a thought.

However, there are times when an electronic card is better or faster or needed. I have a dear friend, Denise, who lives in Mexico where home mail delivery is not reliable. She introduced me to E-Cards by Jacquie Lawson by sending me the most beautiful, animated card featuring cats which I adore. Since then, I've used the Jacquie Lawson cards for Denise as well as other friends and soldiers overseas and colleagues who I do not have a home address.

Jacquie writes this about her cards: "Each card we make takes anything from a few weeks to several months to complete. Many of the elements of the animation are actually painted by hand (using real paint, brushes and paper!) because the textures and colours achieved that way are so much more attractive than the electronic equivalent. These paintings are then scanned into electronic form, and the laborious process of animation starts. Finally, the music is created to accent or complement the animation."

If you're interested, take a look at her website at www.jacquielawson.com.

Check out the whole story at:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/26/opinion/sunday/26shyness.html

Check out the full story at:
http://health.yahoo.net/rodale/PVN/5-minutes-outside-can-boost-your-mood