Thoughts from a Therapist

My normal style of driving long distance is to be in the fast lane that  I call the A Lane, the one that's full of Type A drivers. Together we're in a Congo line of white-knuckle driving; keeping a distance somewhere between tailgating and the standard two-car distance. The hard part about the two-car distance is if too much space gets between cars someone will squeeze in and cause the Congo line to slam brakes in a domino effect. Some of the Type As will hop in and out of the lane just to gain a car length. That's usually when and how the four-plus car pile-ups occur.

So I started Mother's Day in the A Lane prepared to white-knuckle my way home. But after seeing the four black and whites, I quickly accessed a new plan. I didn't want to get a
ticket which will raise my insurance rates so this trip I opted for the B Lane.

And this is where I had an Aha Moment. The B Lane is an entirely different experience. B Lane drivers are more Type B personalities. Two or three car lengths were the norm. We all pretty much drove a  steady pace of 70 mph the whole way. The only interruptions to our  lane were when an A Type pulled in the B Lane to pass and gain  another inch in line.

What also amazed me is that time-wise I arrived home exactly on time per my GPS estimate. Being in the A Lane I usually arrive no more than five minutes earlier. For me, definitely not worth the strain and stress.

Why is this so important? As a counselor helping people with anxiety in my practice in Sacramento, I have my clients start to get to know their own body reactions to stress. What causes it; and what decreases it. Until this Mother's Day trip home, I had no idea how much stress I was feeling each time I drove long distance until I experienced the change in my body driving in the B Lane.

I'm not on the road long distance a lot so this amount of anxiety might not be significant. But the thing about stress is- it all adds up. Add in a job change, a death in my family, a new relationship, then the A Lane stress starts to become more detrimental to my overall health.

The key was to noticing the tensing of my muscles, clenching of my jaw, the pressure in my chest and the flush of heat on my face. Or, as in this case, noticing the lack of these signs when I tried something different.

So that's how I live today. And that's how I help my clients who see me for anxiety therapy in Sacramento. Together we start to notice and eliminate what's increasing the stress and adding more of what doesn't cause that pumped up feeling. Many of my clients are not even aware of how their body feels until we make efforts to watch for it. Much like what happened on this drive home for me.

I'm a B Lane driver now. But for some, moving to the B Lane would be more stressful. And that's what we do together while we work on stress counseling in my office in Sacramento - find what works specifically for you and how to do it for yourself.

Life is full of changes. Life is full of stress. Learning to be aware of it puts you in control and in the driver's seat.

If you'd like to see me about helping you with anxiety therapy in Sacramento, I'm ready to help you take the driver's seat.