Thoughts from a Therapist

When I was in second grade our teacher told us that we would each choose a different bird and report about it in front of the class.

At the time I loved Woody Woodpecker and I knew that would be my bird. Unfortunately, we got to choose alphabetically so by the time it was my turn to pick, the woodpecker was already taken.

My teacher didn't let me have a second choice - instead she assigned me the yellow-bellied sap sucker.

Two important things to note: I had no idea what a yellow-bellied sap sucker was. And I wasn't really sure how to do a report.

I didn't ask her. I didn't ask my friends. I didn't ask anyone. In the week we had to prepare I chewed my fingernails and stayed awake at night worrying about it.  Finally the night before the report was due I broke down in tears and I told my mother.

She took me into the living room and together we looked up the yellow-bellied sap sucker in our encyclopedia.

I learned a lot in that experience:

First, I learned that the yellow-bellied sap sucker is a type of woodpecker.

Second, I learned that, to this day, I find it excruciatingly hard to ask for help. I assume I should know it all. And I don't want anyone to know that I don't.

I've gotten a little better at it. Our technology certainly helps.

And finally,  I've learned that we all have our inner hurdles - which is why I like the words of Saint Francis de Sales:

"Have patience with all things, but chiefly with yourself."

If you're having trouble with patience, especially patience and kindness with yourself, you may want to consider speaking with a self esteem counselor to help you love yourself.